Funny... you'd think my weight loss committment would start before the summer in time for swim suit season, but no... for me it starts after Labor Day. Weird, I know.

So today I started back (in my mind at least) at Weight Watchers, following the CORE program. I'm heading out to the supermarket in a bit to grab lunch. I'm planning on a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, 1/4 avocado (if I can find a good one), cut up veggie burger, and some sort of dressing that I can dream up that consists primarily of herbs, a bit of olive oil and vinegar or lime juice. No clue what dinner will be.

I am also slated to notwalk this evening with netcow. That usually takes us about an hour. Which is good. It will earn me 3 APs at my current weight. (ugh on the current weight)

Tomorrow's plan will actually be planned out tonight to accomodate my class schedule.

I finally figured out why I've been feeling so crappy lately - I've been eating mostly non-organic food! It's making a huge difference in the way I feel. Weird! (Okay... not so weird... but wow...) Today I've had mostly organic food and feel different from yesterday - more... refreshed.

Funky.

When experiencing a 4.6 weight loss do NOT get cocky and go off plan or "forget" to count the points.

I gained 2 pounds this week. Feh. But... I'm back on track 100% today!

Starting weight: 202.8
Current weight: 200
Pounds to 10%: 17.2

WOW! I managed to lose 4.6 pounds this week! Dude! How'd that happen??? LOL That's even lower than my bathroom scale at home! Yay!

So new stats:
Starting weight: 202.8
Current weight: 198
First 10%: 15.6 pounds to go!

*insert victory dance here*
*grin*

I yoga'd this morning for 60 minutes. Can I just say for the record I hate downward facing dog? It kills my wrists. I must be doing something wrong. Took the dog for a 15 minute walk and behaved (mostly) at dinner tonight.

My NSV's: tossed the rest of the left over cake. SO good - angel food cake, cool whip, and OMG ripe strawberries - but too good to keep in the house. And there was no easy way to transport it to work for the vultu...er... coworkers... *grin* So into the trash it went. Every year my Grammy makes chocolate covered eggs (PB and coconut types) with dark chocolate. Soooooo good! Even better when they're frozen. So all the leftover eggs went into the freezer. This way they take longer to eat and they're out of sight, so most likely I'll forget about them for a while - same with the mint meltaways. The leftover jelly bellies and M&Ms and Reeses PB eggs are going to work. The regular old jelly beans and Peeps got tossed. (Don't like peeps anyway so that was no biggie, but I loooooooooove jelly beans.) Everyone left the house with left over ham, so all Casey and I have in the house is lamb and a little bit of ham (enough for sandwiches/wraps). Um... let's see... the pickled beets & eggs are Core and go great on salads... the zucchini is sauteed in lots of oil and with Parmesean so I have to be careful with that. I may be freezing the babka as well (it's great toasted, but I can't have it). Um... let's see.... Oh! There's still the whole crudite left - perfect for veggie soup and snacking.

Also, I only had 1 mini quiche, 1 mini toast w/ garlic & herb cheese, 1 mini toast with olive tapanade, 1 piece of babka, a tiny bit of potato salad, 1 glass of wine, and extra veggies with dinner. This is an NSV because previously I would have eaten at least 3x's that amount. Now I'm satisfied, but not uncomfortably full. I also didn't go nuts with the candy at dessert.

I did have 2 cups of regular coffee (Organic Mexican coffee is wonderful), but that's my last "real" coffee for a good long while. I wanted port with dessert, but refrained.

So that was my relatively OP Easter. Tomorrow's WI. So we'll see what that will bring.

This is sad. I continue to gain weight in the increments I should be losing weight. I need to stop f^&&g around and just do it. Luckily today's meeting was fairly motivational. I felt energized instead of frustrated. We had a different leader. So I'm going to finish out today on plan. That includes getting in some serious exercise for a change. (Walks with the dog are nice, but unless we're gone for hours, don't really seem to accomplish anything for me.)

Start: 202.8
Current: 202.6
Pounds to 10%: 19.8

Feh.

This post was my response to a post on another board about what the word "fat" means to you - is it offensive?

I don't necessarily like the word, but it's a truthful word. I am fat. There's no two ways about it. I'm medically obese, as well. It's depressing and annoying and frustrating, but I have no one to blame but myself. I hide from cameras now. I won't hide from the words though because it's what I need to make myself change habits and behaviors.

Will I randomly walk up to someone and say, "You're fat?" No way. That's just rude. But if someone asks me, "Does this make me look fat," or "Do you think I'm fat" and the truthful answer is yes, then I will say so. I'll probably couch the first answer in other terms - the color or cut isn't right for your shape, whatever. But if someone asks me point blank if they're fat and they are... it's one of those don't ask if you don't want the truth questions.

I also don't think we're a very disciplined society. If we were, then there would be no economic need for Super Sized meals and Hungry Man portions. But we're very permissive and even though we've got the SG and health advocates telling us, "Obesity kills. Eat healthy. Exercise" in booming pundit voices, we've got corporate America telling us "Eating is fun! Drinking is fun! Don't worry about it. Look you can lose weight eating what you want!" in carnival barker voices. It's very counter productive.

One of the things I want to do for myself is stop giving in to that weak-willed whiney-lazy part of me. I want to stop acting like a fat person and start acting like a skinny person.

I used to. I vaguely remember what it was like. I had energy. I didn't feel good about myself, but I was young and stupid then. Which maybe explains why I don't understand the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I didn't feel good about myself when I was thin. It had nothing to do with my weight and everything to do with my mental state. I never thought of myself as fat when I wasn't fat. My mental baggage was all about pretty and feeling unlovable and just generally not happy with ME. I never gave my weight a second thought. So part of me is afraid that if I get back to that point - where I was thin and didn't need to obsess about it - I'll fall back into old thinking patterns about myself. It's illogical because I'm not the same person I was in highschool, or college, or even my first marriage. I'm much happier with WHO I am now than I've ever been. I'm still a WIP, but I'm a much happier WIP. I just need to get my psyche over this mental hump. And I think I can do it if I keep reminding myself of this when I try to sabotage myself.

And really... now it's kind of the same thing. The way I feel about myself really has nothing to do with my weight (until I step on the scale that is). Generally, I'm happy with my life and my husband and my career. So my psyche is basically saying to me, "You're happy. Why ruin a good thing by losing weight. You certainly weren't happy when you were thin."

So I've got to get over that and realize that I will be just as happy as I am now when I'm thin again.

Time to slap that stupid psyche around and knuckle down.

Grrrr....

That's probably because my WI was blah. I maintained. Not surprising, but still blah.

Still, over the last two days, I've gotten more exercise than I did in the past two weeks. Go me! *grin*

Starting weight: 202.4
Current weight: 200.8
Pounds to 1st 10% goal: 18
Weeks to Susan G. Korman 3-day Walk: 27

And it's evening and I've finished the day with exactly 26 points and an undetermined number of Activity Points because I haven't gotten my Points Booster yet. That's next week - week 3.

We had a sub at our meeting today. She was pretty good - definitely energetic. Instead of letting us sit there like lumps, this leader got us actively involved in the talk. Literally. Active. Stretching and reaching and jumping and knocking over chairs... lol... She had blown up about 6 balloons and wrote various reasons/excuses people give for not exercising. They're all certainly excuses I've given myself - I'm too tired, I don't feel well, I hate to exercise. The goal was to keep the balloons in the air. Each time a balloon hit the ground, she would read the excuse written on it. Then we'd come up with rebuttals or arguments against the excuse. Once we exhausted a topic, she would pop the balloon. *grin* It was fun and raucous and definitely what I needed to get myself remotivated to exercise again.

Today's exercise was 20 minutes of PM yoga, 30 minutes Pilates (Prevention - Flatten Your Belly with Pilates) and a 15 minute dog walk. :) The extra lovely bit is that the new yoga dvd I ordered was just shipped. Yay!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to get up early and do a cardio workout (ballet most likely unless I actually get to the gym) and a weights workout. The breakfast I have planned is 1/2 c egg beaters, diced green peppers, carmelized onions, and V8. I have a new alarm that will sit on my side of the bed so I actually hear it when it goes off. *grin*

I love having a plan... I love it even better when a plan comes together... I'll report on that tomorrow. :)

... you step on the scale and your WW leader shouts, "Yippee!" *grin*

I'm down two pounds!

Start: 202.4
Current: 200.4
Pounds to 1st goal: 18

:)